Three years ago this month I arrived to Ethiopia for the start of 3 months volunteering there. My time there undoubtably changed my life, and set me on the trajectory that now has me back in Africa for the next three months. (You can read all about my first time living in Africa by locating all my blogs from 2019, if you’re interested.)
Now, I find myself back on the continent, but this time living in the southern countries. Currently, the squad is living in the kingdom of Eswatini (formerly Swaziland) for an all-squad month (kind of). Next month, we’ll be in Lesotho and in November we’ll transition to South Africa before heading back to the States.
To bring you up to speed of the past few weeks, on September 1st, we got picked up from a location near Cusco, Peru that we’d spent a week in fellowship and worship together. After a 24-hour bus ride to Lima, Peru, a 10 hour layover, a 6 hour flight to Cancun, Mexico, another 10 hour layover, a 10 hour flight to Zurich, Switzerland, an 8 hour layover, another 10 hour flight to Johannesburg, South Africa, and then a 4 hour bus ride, we finally arrived on September 5th to Manzini, Eswatini.
We’re staying in a house too small for the squad (see my previous blog for my team’s opinions on that haha) and split in half for ministry at two different “care points” in the country. A care point is a church-affiliated location where kids can come daily for a free meal and then also receive regular Bible teaching and discipleship. The two care points we’re working with serve an average of 80-100 kids a day.
Lately I’ve found more of my mind occupied with what’s to come after the Race. It’s incredibly normal conversation to ask or be asked about future plans, and I could probably recite to you everyone on the squad’s current ideas for post-Race life (like I said, INCREDIBLY normal).
I am at the point where I feel ready to go home, while also unprepared for it. Realistically, it is perfectly okay that I am not prepared to go home yet (because I am not going home yet). The feeling ready for what is not happening yet is the harder part.
Truthfully, life has felt difficult recently which makes thinking about home all the more enticing. There are many days I look around and wonder what my/our purpose is in being involved where we are. There have been many decisions lately that I’ve disagreed with. There are many conversations that seem futile at best. There is certainly a wearing down of your sense of autonomy and independence that occurs when you’re instructed what to do with the majority of your day, every single day.
So overall, I find myself coming ever so quickly into the middle parts of month 9 tired and uninspired.
I have delayed writing and posting this blog, for the very fact that I have felt like I have nothing to say. I have felt like I have no life lesson to impart, no life-changing moment to testify, and no incredibly motivational parting words. The Race has gotten to the point where it’s mostly just doing life in close proximity with 15 other people and every few weeks being given a new living situation, ministry, and country to figure out. It is not all wild adventures and spiritual revival everywhere we go.
So while this is not the most exciting update and I still have no motivational parting words, this is reality right now. But like all things, good or bad, I know that this is only but a season and even it will eventually pass.
Please pray:
- for excitement and energy about life and ministry lately.
- for creativity, joy, and humility in the ways we serve the kids we interact with each day.
- for God’s provision over jobs, housing, and all of the big and small details associated with transitioning back to the States.
I’m for you following your calling.
We are praying for you and the whole team.
“My people perish for lack of vision”
When I feel this way I go to the red letters and seek Gods will for the moment.
The small simple Gospel.
Found in the words of Jesus.
I make goals to apply His words to my day.
It’s ok to say it’s tough.
You don’t have to inspire anyone…not even yourself.
You give an account to Jesus …no one else…
Blessings
And we are really praying for you.
Hello Emily, Yes, I think at times we can all feel tired and uninspired. Thank you for your honesty. I know sometimes we can feel a certain way, but it’s not always the Truth. You have inspired me throughout this year with your beautiful writing and the Wisdom that the Lord has given you. I know that all this is still inside waiting. Waiting for that perfect timing. I know the Lord has a beautiful future for you. I look forward to seeing it all come to fruition. We love you so much and are praying for you. I look forward to that joy, excitement and energy returning.
Emily, I know this is the hardest part of the race. I’ve been there. Lows, unknowns, etc. PRESS IN to GOD and PRESS IN to LOVE. Love the people around you–teammates, ministry hosts, people you are ministering to. Stay PRESENT right where you are. You don’t have to have everything post-race figured out. If people know what they are doing, awesome! Rejoice with them. Don’t fall into the comparison trap though. It’s a step-by-step faith… Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. A lamp only lets you see so far in front of you. Then you must take another step. And another step. Keep stepping and keep trusting God has you RIGHT where HE WANTS YOU. One step at a time. And one day at a time. Yoke yourself with Him, and He’ll be the strength you need to carry on. You can’t do this in your own power.
Emily, I was so happy to see your post and your honesty and there is nothing wrong with being tired and not inspired at this time. With all you are doing and the extended trip to get from Peru to Africa had to be so exhausting. I’m praying for you and today is our Tapestry Group meeting at church and I will let them know that you need extra prayers at this time. It seems the closer we get to the finish line, the slower time goes but all of a sudden you are there and will be so thankful for the past 11 months. You will win this race in blazing colors.
My ?? is with you always?? Peace, Grace and Blessings with Love, Gramma